RESOLVING CONFLICTS

 This week Mars in Libra is opposite Uranus in Aries.
    Conflict is a sense of two or more opposing forces. There are interpersonal conflicts: I want this, you want that, how can we both be satisfied? And there are inner conflicts: I want you to like me, but I want to always get my way. Or conflicts about making decisions: I want to leave my job, but I don't want to look for a new job. Conflicts feel bad. There's tension. Fear of making the wrong choice. Shame about not taking action. Anger about being challenged.
     Somebody came up with the great coaching idea that if you change your but to and, the conflict is resolved. Because the truth is that both competing thoughts are true. I want to leave my job, and I don't want to look for a new job. The secret to resolving conflicts is that its going to be hard and uncomfortable either way. The other secret is that avoiding conflict is much more painful than bravely and compassionately engaging the conflict. Letting dialogue occur. Like, talk it over, honestly. We can work it out. With respect for each other's needs and positions, we can create win-win agreements. And within yourself you can talk it out, all the aspects of you can work together. The team of you can function effectively, integrated, respecting all the parts, in peace, and in constant dialogue.